Monday, July 26, 2010

1 month and 2 weeks

So, I've not written much because the last month has pretty much consisted of the same stuff as I've written about before. I'm trying not to bore you or be negative, but unfortunately, negativity is par for the course no matter how positive I try to be. However, the positive is that we are now with a very reputable Endocrinologist and Alli is still alive. :) I will apologize now for the sarcasm. The past few weeks have seemed so short but yet so long. I have fully accepted that my daughter has a chronic disease and am dedicated to helping her get better. I no longer have the pit in my stomach, but I still grieve for our old life--I know it will never be back, and we are starting new. Though, as that old life gets far more distant, it still is something I severely miss. To be blunt, this disease is really 'shitty'. And, now more than ever I'm feeling that no one relates with what we are going through other than those who are directly affected by their own condition or that of a loved one. Other than that, no one knows the severity, the frustration, the anger the sadness....and at the same time, the triumph. Yep, I said triumph. My little girl is a fighter, and we are beside her all the way. She will tell all her friends about "Diabetes" and really loves it when they come with her to get her finger poked or to get an insulin shot...maybe sharing it makes it easier for her. But, she already notices she is different. The one thing I never wanted her to see.

It's been ONE MONTH AND TWO WEEKS since her diagnosis. The picture you see is the reality of all the injections Allison has endured thus far, minus a few that have made it to the trash instead of the sharp container. If you have a phobia of needles, don't look. But it's Allison's reality.

Our lives have changed so much in the last month and a half. We have no other choice but to deal and live. But, I now have a new perspective on life and petty problems no longer exist. Our lives are dedicated to making our daughter healthy and trying to make the best of the hand we've been dealt. So be it. I also know there could be so much worse, and I dare not even think about what 'could be'.