Wednesday, October 6, 2010
On October 12 (also, My Mama's Birthday) it will be 4 months since Alli's diagnosis. Taking care of her diabetes has become almost 2nd nature. I use that term loosely, though. Because, just when I think everything is under control, something throws us for a loop. We're used to it.
Over the past four months we've laughed, cried, suffered bouts with anxiety about what used to be the simplest things in life, yelled, screamed and then cried some more. There came a point where we just finally 'are'. I will say that anxiety medication helps a lot, too. For me, it has taken my edge off and has allowed me to become more patient, and passive when I need to be. My mind is more clear, and I'm able to pick my battles. When sugars are high/low, it affects Allison's mood and she has some pretty severe mood swings. Those who don't know her illness would consider her a very spoiled brat at times--but that is not who she is. Yes, she does have the typical 3 (now 4 on September 20!) year old behavior at times, but it is definitely more intense when her body is out of whack. It's unpleasant to say the least, and it makes it really difficult to decipher the cause unless we check her sugar. It has taken Mike and I a lot to get on the same page with how we handle our parenting, but I feel that we now are working together, more than we were.
Some good news is that Allison just celebrated her 4th birthday and we had a great turn out for her celebration. We really wanted to make this year's celebration special, and it really was. And, now that she's 4, she is finally beginning to use the potty, and is very proud of herself! She PROMISED me she would use it on her birthday. I've held her to it, and she's doing well! We still have some work to do, but she's making great progress.
This year also marked our first JDRF walk. My Mom, Dad, Mike, Alli and I walked for Team "Alli Bri" and had a good time! The weather could have been better, but we did it, and I was able to raise $355 for the cause because I have the best friends and family EVER! Boy, I really am hoping for a cure. But, until then--we will still be hanging in there!
We are starting to be able to comfortably incorporate her Alli's care while being on the go --it 'almost' feels like old times. I can say, though, restaurants could use some MAJOR improvement with posting nutritional information! I have to hand it to McDonald's (not that we eat there a lot) but they have their nutritional information posted on nearly EVERYTHING! Kudos!!! With the vast amount of those living with this disease (and other illnesses that require diet restrictions), it should be a requirement! Going out to eat is a huge source of anxiety because I weigh and measure everything at home and have memorized the carb count of so many of the foods we eat. I am completely out of my element and feel out of control when we're in a restaurant, but I'm slowly getting over that. I'm pretty sure that the applesauce at Max and Erma's is not the same applesauce we eat, and therefore carb count is higher--but what is it? It's a mystery, so you guess and hope you are right. See? Little things like that...food isn't as much fun for me anymore. In fact, I've lost 10 lbs. according to the doctor! Ha, ha...cool!
So, we're 4 months into it, and we have the rest of her life to go. Most things in life have an finish line, and if you can see the end it makes things easier. I think that's what makes this the hardest to grasp--there is no mile marker to the end, no prize to be given. But, there is the prize of her life, and obviously, the greatest prize of all.